In the Absence

CAMINO STAGE 2- San Sebastián to Zarautz

“I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story… I decided I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.” Cheryl Strayed –Wild

Day two in hiking boots— we felt a touch of trepidation this morning knowing full well now what the day entailed—tackling seventeen miles on a steep grade in high humidity and 88+ degree temps with already taxed muscles, blisters and an inflamed nerve. We wondered again if we picked a route too challenging for us. My son messaged right before we set off and said “if Reese Witherspoon could hike a ‘1000 miles’ in the movie “Wild,” you can too lol.” This absurd encouragement shooed away residual anticipation of pain and replaced it with laughter.

Fear is a genuine response in the face of anything difficult and untried because of absences—Absence in knowing what lies around the bend… absence in knowing limitations and capability to continue over 800km.

“Enlightenment is not something you achieve. It is the absence of something.”
Joko Beck

However, in the absences is where we found courage, abundance and ourselves. In the absence of yellow camino markers, Steve navigated and found the way. In the absence of water in our bottles, we stumbled upon a couple streams with cool water. In the absence of other pilgrims, a gaggle of kind American students stopped right by us.. In the absence of coolness, a breeze and sliver of shade appeared. At the absence of energy the coastal town of Orio had one lone cafe table so we could eat, refuel and regenerate. At the end of each, an understanding that “the Camino provides,” a phenomena born of lack and absence of any creature comfort is where transformation and enlightenment happens. And this is the place where we chose to tell ourself a different story…that doubt and fear was unfounded and we were strong and brave and nothing could vanquish us.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

The last killer climb and final descent into Zarautz unfolded the most stunning beach far below. Taking the longer scenic route down, we were rewarded with stirring cliffside views… and hundreds of steep steps dissolving into slippery slopes to get down to the beach. Despite the slow going, burning quads and parched throats, we lumbered on.