CAMINO STAGE 7: Bilbao to Pobena Camino Del Norte Route – 15 miles El Camino De Santiago

A few years back while visiting the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam, this lovely pear blossom painting captured my attention. We had just been to Provence, France, where Van Gogh had been inspired to paint a series of these flowering trees with delicate blossoms.

This afternoon’s camino through Portugalete on the way to Pobena, we passed by these white flowering bushes and trees which reminded me of the Van Gogh blossom painting and something he’d said that ‘ by really looking at things, we, not the object, have deeper meaning. ‘

“It is looking at things for a long time that ripens you and gives you a deeper meaning. ” Vincent Van Gogh

While our two sets of clothes have the potential to ‘ripen’ by the end of the 37 days of exertion on the Camino, I pondered how we were ‘ripening,” evolving and gaining deeper meaning as we had been looking at the trail and each other’s backpacks for a week now. It was “love” that circled back to me. Not the romantic dinner and flowers type of love but the dirty gritty type of love that offers to carry things in your pack when you are tired and offers to pop the blisters on your feet and bind them up. This love is strength on hard days and gets you up and down yet another mountain.

“It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.” Vincent Van Gogh

But it’s also tender love that doesn’t mind slowing down from sixteen minute miles to 24 minute miles and love that lets you stop and admire Jersey cows, kittens, goats & sheep, el mar, (the sea), kiwi and all manner of fruit and flowers. Its also the type of love that shares the last of the food and chocolate, and puts on a brave face while in pain and smiles anyway. This type of love is your kids cheering you on… comparing you to a Roman soldier carrying their armor mile after mile. This is love done well,

While walking I also thought about parents and grandparents who have moved on to the next life. They are with me in my heart and mind and their love through time and space is what gives me the strength to keep walking day after day.

As Van Gogh says what is done in love is “well done” and what gives us deeper meaning .

There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people. ”

– Vincent Van Gogh

CAMINO STAGE 6- Gernika to Bilbao Camino del Norte Route – 20 miles Camino De Santiago

“The longer you continue the journey, the more exciting it becomes, because of the chance you have to learn about who you really are and what you can do.” Art Berg

Time has started to lose meaning the longer we walk the Camino. Some minutes, while pain is severe, stretch an eternity but other times an hour or two unfolds in the hypnotic breathing of nature.

We turned inland today leaving the coastal mountains of the Guernica behind as we headed for Bilbao. Steve’s grandfather was born in Bilbao and the excitement carried us forward. It’s easier to understand yourself when you know who and where you come from.

When we reached Bilbao we dumped our packs and went in search of the church where Steve’s grandfather was christened, and a street and vague address a half a mile away where he was born. In an ancient city we figured we may have luck finding the apartment building his grandfather grew up in.

We found the church where Steve’s grandfather Victor was christened, San Vicente Mártir, easily enough. Sadly it was closed by the time we got there. We moved on to the street where his grandfather was born, which was two city blocks long. In the 1890’s the apartment buildings had letters over the threshold. Now there were just numbers, so while we couldn’t find the exact apartment, it was fun to think his grandfather had played in the street here as a child. When his grandfather was a young adult, he emigrated to Chile. At the time in Bilbao, the communists were controlling and killing people and South America had more freedoms and opportunities. It was fascinating to return to see his grandfather’s origins and appreciate his grandfather’s courage to find a better life.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor Frankl

Thinking about courage, I was mindful of Steve’s courage through cancer and chemo and how he, like his grandfather, had the courage to move to another country, to take the longer but better route in moving to Spain, land of his ancestry for a healthier pace and quality of life.

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” Alan Cohen

We continue our movement of life, one step in front of the other, on the Camino.

CAMINO STAGE 5- Markina Xeimen to Guernica (Gernika) 18 miles. Camino Del Norte Route El Camino De Santiago

You just have to go half way… and a little more. John Tavner “Patriot”

One of our favorite TV series “Patriot” ends with the protagonist John Tavner beaten and broken swimming the English Channel, with jelly fish stinging him, in order to finish his mission. He has shown all through the series that if he can just make his journey half way, he can finish …as it’s the same distance turning around from halfway as it is to go forward. So he just has “to go a little more.”

We were one of the last pilgrims to leave the pensione Casa Rural Intxauspe at 8:30 am. Another 93 degree hot day meant earlier was better but we had to get Steve’s blistered feet taped and bolstered before leaving. The Camino stage the day before was brutal and everyone was blistered and hobbling as they left. Within a couple hours, even though we left later, we started coming across pilgrims injured, exhausted and discouraged on the side of the trail. One German woman I had I interacted with and hung her laundry on the line the day before, had tears rolling down her face. (I had read a blog where discouragement and crying kicks in around day 4/5). I stopped on the steep ascent and asked her if she was ok. She nodded, cried some more and wiped her tears. She said in broken English “I think I’m ok now… to go more.”

The human spirit is so remarkable— during difficult challenges it can still find reserves “to go a little more.” Descending one mountain and starting up another we crossed a freeway and a man leaned out his car and waved and cheered us with a “Buen Camino” helping us climb in a little more.

I was thinking about Pablo Picasso’s painting “Guernica” (as we were hiking to the Basque town of Gernika) and the anguish Picasso painted after Guernica was bombed by Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy in 1937 during the Spanish Civil War. As we passed the injured and as I looked at Steve, grimacing but still walking, due to his painful blisters, the painting’s howling and feet in the bottom right made me feel great compassion for those that carry on a little more despite great pain.

“While the difficult takes time, the impossible just takes a little longer.” Art Berg

The last three miles stretched an eternity but we distracted ourselves looking at vineyards, looking at beautiful basque homes with cascading flowers from the windows, listening to church bells and the sound of cows with bells around their necks. We made it a little longer….

CAMINO STAGE 4 – Deba to Markina-Xemein Camino Del Norte route- Camino De Santiago

“Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.” Muhammad Al

Found ourselves standing at the bottom of the mountain—again. Deba was in our rear view sites by eight am, as the Markina-Xemein stage was a 5/5 difficulty with 93 degree temps, no towns or services along the way, distance and ascents. All grocery stores were closed the night before and didn’t open the next morning until after we’d left. We had four slices of left over subpar pizza from a Kebab place, 3 liters of water, and a handful of hard candies to carry us 18 miles. At the mountain trail first rise we knew we were going to have to dig deep — down to the fumes at the bottom of the soul for the match to be even for us against the mountains as we were battling fatigued legs and Steve’s feet were trashed.

We got a little reprieve of purple shade before bursting into scorching sun, thistles, blackberry briar. Any deviation left or right to avoid swampy rutted roads rewarded us with scratched arms and snagged clothes.

“When there is no way out — that is the very moment when we explode from within. The sudden surfacing of a strength of unknown origin, welling up from beyond reason, rational expectation, and hope.” — Émile Durkheim

The hills were barren of shade because they had all been stripped for lumber. Thankfully we found a natural spring dripping water so we could refill our water bottle as we were dehydrated and still had six miles to go. This was enough to give us energy to trudge on.

With three miles to go I was panting in the heat and Steve was hobbling from blistered feet. It’s always at this do or die moment, when hitting rock bottom and you can’t take another step, that the magical surfacing of strength kicks in. My hands went from numb to alive and my aching legs decided to get a second wind.

We scrambled along the Highway and jumped the guard rail, got screamed at by a man who said we were trespassing and finally found our pensione with two other beaten down pilgrims who arrived just before us. With laundry done, we had a fabulous meal and hobbled to the grocery store with other limping pilgrims. While our clothes dried in the breeze we watched the sunset on another terrible wonderful Camino day.

“When you feel like you have been hit, dig deep and hit back. Rock bottom is not your end; it is your beginning.” — Christine Evangelou

CAMINO STAGE 3: Zarautz to Deba

“Who says there has to be a point?” Or a reason. Maybe it’s just something you have to do.” Sarah Dessen

On the fifteenth straight up climb on cliff edges and mountains today, on the coastal variant Camino Del Norte route of the Camino de Santiago Steve jokingly asked, “Why are we doing this? In the middle of challenges, asking “why” is a thought to gnaw on. But sometimes “the why” is just because.

For as long as there’s anyone to ask ‘Why?’ the answer will always be, ‘Why not? Vera Nazarian,

We met a fellow pilgrim, on what felt like the hardest day yet, named Sebastián from Germany who walked with Steve and I for 5 miles before heading to his albergue. Asking about his story while we walked, he shared how he worked long hours at an engineering firm to save for a wife and home for one day. One afternoon while working with his friend and coworker, the friend was rushed to the hospital and died. This shook Sebastián to the core and he quit his job and started walking the Camino for answers to “why” and the purpose of life. When his mom asked him why he had to go traipse across Spain, he said “why not?”

“The why must never be obvious. That is the whole point.” Agatha Christie

After parting ways and feeling motivated to take the GR coastal variant we were rewarded with spectacular views but very challenging up and downhills. We’ve hiked many times in Colorado, Utah, Virginia, Italy and Guam and Germany but this one long extended hike was a whole other animal. We bumped into some American students again who were just starting for the day and feeling exhausted already. They joined us as we crossed over a ridge in Zumaia. The beach below had the most incredible rock formations from a meteor impact crater from eons ago. (The beach was also a film site for Game of Thrones.) cresting the beachhead left us breathless in more ways than one. After a hot tiring climb, one of the students asked “why do we go up just to immediately go back down and up over and over? Isn’t there a better way?” Her companion said “don’t ask why, it just is.”

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going to fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and WHY.” Eddie Cantor

We parted ways as they stopped for lunch and as we headed on we had two more groups who started following us. There’s comfort in struggling with others. 16 grueling miles before we made it down the mountain for the day. Our “why are we doing this” became clear again and again as we paused from time to time to catch our breath and cheer each other on. Every break we were rewarded with spellbinding views. The journey into “why” was put on hold to ruminate on during tomorrow’s climb.

CAMINO STAGE 2- San Sebastián to Zarautz

“I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story… I decided I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.” Cheryl Strayed –Wild

Day two in hiking boots— we felt a touch of trepidation this morning knowing full well now what the day entailed—tackling seventeen miles on a steep grade in high humidity and 88+ degree temps with already taxed muscles, blisters and an inflamed nerve. We wondered again if we picked a route too challenging for us. My son messaged right before we set off and said “if Reese Witherspoon could hike a ‘1000 miles’ in the movie “Wild,” you can too lol.” This absurd encouragement shooed away residual anticipation of pain and replaced it with laughter.

Fear is a genuine response in the face of anything difficult and untried because of absences—Absence in knowing what lies around the bend… absence in knowing limitations and capability to continue over 800km.

“Enlightenment is not something you achieve. It is the absence of something.”

Joko Beck

However, in the absences is where we found courage, abundance and ourselves. In the absence of yellow camino markers, Steve navigated and found the way. In the absence of water in our bottles, we stumbled upon a couple streams with cool water. In the absence of other pilgrims, a gaggle of kind American students stopped right by us.. In the absence of coolness, a breeze and sliver of shade appeared. At the absence of energy the coastal town of Orio had one lone cafe table so we could eat, refuel and regenerate. At the end of each, an understanding that “the Camino provides,” a phenomena born of lack and absence of any creature comfort is where transformation and enlightenment happens. And this is the place where we chose to tell ourself a different story…that doubt and fear was unfounded and we were strong and brave and nothing could vanquish us.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

The last killer climb and final descent into Zarautz unfolded the most stunning beach far below. Taking the longer scenic route down, we were rewarded with stirring cliffside views… and hundreds of steep steps dissolving into slippery slopes to get down to the beach. Despite the slow going, burning quads and parched throats, we lumbered on.

The story we tell ourselves now: demons of fear do exist but there is strength in our absences to overcome them. Onward little band of Moore’s